Telemarketers. Gotta love 'em.

"Takuro Spirit" (takurospirit)
08/24/2017 at 16:59 • Filed to: None

So a local number calls me a little while ago while I’m at work, with the same Verizon exchange that I have. So I answer it. BIG MISTAKE.

There’s a recorded message saying its about my credit card, that there is no problem but they would like to speak with me about.... and I start searching for the dialpad on my cell so I can push 0 and speak with a person to tell them to F-OFF.

Suddenly I hear “press 9 to speak with an agent, again, press 9 to speak...” so I press 9.

Then I get a man of obvious Indian dialect saying hello and I immediately say, as I usually do “I am on the Do Not Call List, please remove my number from your database and DO NOT CALL ME AGAIN” and I hear a noise....

It sounds like.....

“Excuse me?” I ask.

“Blah blah blah de blah blah blah” I hear.

“Are you kidding me? You’re retarded. Why do you people keep calling me and wasting your time?”

“Blah blah blah...”

“LISTEN. How much do they pay you to harass people and act like a retard?”

“I make tirteen tousand dollars”

“THIRTEEN?”

“Yes, tirteen tousand dollars”

“Wow, I feel bad for you. You get paid so little to be an asshole to people. You should quit and get a job at McDonalds. You can earn more than that flipping my burgers, or salting my french fries. Tell you what, I’ll pay you MORE than that to come over here and lick my ass.”

“I will come kiss your ass. You will pay me.”

“Yeah, I will pay you to LICK my ass. You don’t call me again, I’ll call YOU and tell you when and where. PEACE!”

And I hung up.

Did I take it too far?

DISCUSSION (49)

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:04

Yeah, prolly. But then again, not as much as Bun-Bun

Kinja'd!!!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:04

I have a problem with telemarketers calling with numbers pretending to be on my local exchange, and not having anyone on the other end of the line. It’s either them running their autodialer when they don’t have people available, or the old “you called us, you made contact” alleged dodge of the telemarketing laws.

What makes it really irritating is that telemarketers have spoofed my number more than once, so I’ve gotten texts or calls be people who got dead air calls “from me” or the like.

Finally, the “is XXX there - oh, well maybe you can help me” fake wrong number scam calls can fuck right off.

Takuro Spirit > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 17:05

Man I used to read the shit out of Sluggy. I even named my first Guinea Pig Bun-Bun.

Cé hé sin > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:06

Yes. He’s some guy in a call centre in Bangalore doing a thankless job ringing people some of whom think it amusing (not suggesting it’s you) to blow a whistle loudly down the line. How would you like it?

Takuro Spirit > Cé hé sin
08/24/2017 at 17:07

If they wouldn’t fake the number to appear local I wouldn’t be as apt to fuck with ‘em.

Shit has to be illegal somehow...

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:07

There’s this ski-fi author, John Ringo, who was a huge Sluggy fan. He worked Bun-Bun into several of his novels with not-so-subtle references.

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:07

Kinja'd!!!

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:09

I was listening to NPR the other day and apparently this is the new thing to get you to answer your phone. I don’t have any sympathy for telemarketers. I usually just tell them to fuck off and hang up.

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:10

SPOOFING, is whats its called.

Funktheduck > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:10

I don’t think you took it far enough. I get the same calls. I usually just scream into the phone as loudly as I can. Or I threaten to hunt them down. Those two options get them to leave me alone for a little while

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 17:11

Yep. Running gag in the Council Wars books, among probably others.

Takuro Spirit > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever
08/24/2017 at 17:11

I do too, but this guy with his mocking made me laugh. I had to give it back to him a bit.

Usually they just hang up when I start the “I’m on a do not call” line.

Takuro Spirit > ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper
08/24/2017 at 17:12

Yeah, that.

Takuro Spirit > Funktheduck
08/24/2017 at 17:13

I was at work. “Lick my ass” was as far as I wanted to go without my coworkers questioning my sanity any more than they already do.

HammerheadFistpunch > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:13

I’ve been flooded with these local number scams lately. I still pickup and just wait. No hello, no nothing if they don’t say anything in 5 seconds...number blocked. My favorite is “Hello, this is so and so with account services, we need you to call us right away to talk about your account”

Account services for what? do you really think making it sound official AND playing the pronoun game are going to work?

Takuro Spirit > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 17:13

What a wonderful world we live in....

Takuro Spirit > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 17:14

HOLY SHIT ITS STILL GOING???

http://www.sluggy.com/

Sam > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:14

These people are the lowest level of the ladder. They aren’t responsible for what they are doing, they just need to, ya know, eat.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 17:14

Also in the Legacy of the Aldenata series.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch
08/24/2017 at 17:15

Account services?! This must be in relation to my Current Credit Card with Genericard!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 17:16

I only have one of those so far. I’ve been collecting a few other authors more hardcore-like. I’ll catch up on Ringo eventually...

benjrblant > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 17:17

Or Account Services telling me that the warranty on my 1997 car is about to expire.

Takuro Spirit > Sam
08/24/2017 at 17:18

They are the reason warning labels exist.

user314 > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:18

Kinja'd!!!

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:19

So one time I was hanging out with friends playing cards against humanity and being horrible people when I got a call from some spam number. Since political correctness had gone out the window hours before this I picked up the phone and went “Joe’s pizza parlor and abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce! How may I help you?” There was some incoherent mumbling from the other end before they just hung up. Haven’t heard back.

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:21

Wow! Can’t believe it.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 17:23

The problem is that Ringo eventually goes off the deep end if he stays with a series too long, and sometimes just peters out and doesn’t finish.

Takuro Spirit > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 17:25

I wonder how long it’ll take to back to 2002/03 when I stopped reading it and get caught up....

Chariotoflove > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:31

I found it 6 or 7 years ago (?) and tried to back track to get all the story lines. I gave up after a while.

Funktheduck > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:36

I was in the middle of the UPS store last time. Didn’t stop me

fintail > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 17:37

I have an easy solution with no stress. If a number is blocked, I don’t answer. If I don’t recognize a number, no answer. If it’s important (or legit), they will leave a message.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > benjrblant
08/24/2017 at 17:39

I got one of those. Me, thinking,“Would that be for the 1987 car with a half million miles, or one of the ‘60s ones that expired 53 years ago?” If it had been a human, I would have mocked it for thinking any of my vehicles were under warranty. Slightly.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 17:42

John’s two entries so far for Larry Correia’s Monster Hunter International series have been pretty entertaining.

Also, I did a complete front to back Sluggy archive trawl 5 or 6 years ago. I need to catch up on about five years since then, but I cannot be said to be unslugged.

Takuro Spirit > Funktheduck
08/24/2017 at 17:44

Savage

NJAnon > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 18:06

Im confused. What was the sound?

Funktheduck > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 18:09

Yeah. I got a couple looks when I said “I’ll hunt you down and put your head on a spike if you don’t stop calling me”

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 18:15

I hadn’t heard to that series.

You have my respect for your Sluggy diligence. I just don’t have the stamina to do that much back reading.

E92M3 > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 18:38

The average salary in India is only $16k a year. $13k isn’t bad for a telemarketer.

Monkey B > Takuro Spirit
08/24/2017 at 19:03

I hate this with a firey passion. I run a local business so I answer all local exchanges. Pisses me off when I get the boat horn...ALL ABOARD! Recently it’s been the “IRS”...fuckers. I can’t even request my number be removed because I don’t have time to waste on the prerecorded message.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 19:28

I’m going to Dragon Con in Atlanta next week, and I usually try to attend a panel or two where John is talking about writing. Don’t know if he’s doing signings, though, like one of the other authors I’ve been collecting. That author being Timothy Zahn , who’s best known for Star Wars stuff (Grand Admiral Thrawn, Mara Jade, etc. etc.) but who’s also really accomplished outside of that. Anyway, I have a copy of Analog with Zahn’s first published story and a number of his other early works to get signed that I haven’t done in previous years, as well as a first edition of his first novel that I just happened to find in a local bookstore and I’ve had him sign for two cons running.

I also have a number of Jim Butcher titles to get signed, as I’ve only got three of my Codex Alera books signed so far - he has to enforce quotas.

I may be a massive nerd.

Anyway, John Ringo and Kevin J. Anderson will probably have a good panel on military sci-fi or two.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 19:33

Wow. Happy hunting, my friend. That sound like fun. I’ve never met Ringo, but I’ve read his blog, and his views on military and politics are pretty clear for all to read. Should be an interesting panel.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 19:35

On Monster Hunter International, it’s a series that sneaks up on you, because it’s kind of gleefully self-insert Mary Sue With Guns one minute and crushingly macabre and suspenseful horror writing the next. That’s very much the spirit that John Ringo wrote his entries in, as well. I actually prefer Larry’s other series, Grimnoir, which is kind of a dieselpunk thing with superpowers, and the spin-off/side character entries in MHI more than the main ones.

Correia himself is a cheerfully abrasive person, former gun store owner/firearms instructor, and a Naughty Person where a lot of the politically activist Secret Masters of Fandom are concerned.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 19:36

So, I may be checking these titles out as part of my ongoing quest to avoid any semblance of productivity.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 19:43

What’s this? I seem to have accidentally dropped an Amazon link. HOW CLUMSY OF ME

https://www.amazon.com/Magic-Grimnoir-Chronicles-Larry-Correia/dp/1451638248

AND AGAIN

https://www.amazon.com/Monster-Hunter-Memoirs-Larry-Correia/dp/1481482629

I also endorse the following:

https://www.amazon.com/Blackcollar-Timothy-Zahn/dp/1453297871/

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 20:22

Here, let me get those for you.

I learned about Ringo and several other authors from the Baen Free Library. You probably know of it. It’s like crack where the first book in a series is free, and you end up buying the rest once you’re hooked.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
08/24/2017 at 20:31

At one of the panels a couple of years ago, John Ringo was talking about how Ghost ( which is basically softcore, and something he’s been slagged for) got published. Apparently he wrote it in one of his compulsive jags and mentioned it as an explanation for why he didn’t have something out yet. Conversation between him and the late Jim Baen went something like this:

JR: No, you *really* don’t want this. It’s porn! Baen is military sci-fi.

JB: Porn? Give.

JR: But why? Also I don’t want to. I’ll be That Bad Porn Guy

JB: I’ll buy more books from you, thus and so, also give.

JR: But...

JB: No buts. I want first refusal on this thing. Give.

....

Some time later:

JB: Hey, I’m going to publish it, and push hard for it

JR: I told you it wasn’t that good and I’m ashamed of it and isn’t this not at all Baen’s thing and...

JB: (Actual quote of quote from that panel): “Baen Books is what Jim Like. (pause). Jim Like.”

By all accounts, Toni Weisskopf is continuing that excellent tradition.

I have a bunch of Baen books from Elizabeth Moon, Eric Flint, Tim Zahn, John Ringo, Larry Correia, Sarah Hoyt... if I ever actually do Baen Book club I’ll have even more of a problem. I’m a-skeered.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/24/2017 at 20:38

You should be a-skeered. That rabbit hole goes waaaaaaay down.

Thanks for the bit of history!

Tony Quart > Takuro Spirit
08/25/2017 at 04:30

Well, thank you for making my day, Takuro. :D
I think you’ve stopped him from calling you again, but I don’t know if it’s good for you or not. The company maybe sell your number to another parties because they know your number’s live. I think you could sue them if they call you again next time, like what I read at http://www.whycall.me/news/my-4500-payday-from-a-telemarketer/ . Did he say what’s the company name? :D

pip bip - choose Corrour > Takuro Spirit
08/25/2017 at 05:43

you were more restrained than me.